How to Know If Someone Is the One: A Guide to Finding Your Forever Person

We’ve all been there—sitting across from someone during a date, feeling those early sparks and thinking, “Could this be the one?” 

Maybe you’ve been in a long-term relationship, wondering if the person you’re with is truly your forever. 

This is a question many people wrestle with, and it can feel like there’s no clear answer. 

But how do you really know if someone is the one? While there’s no magic formula, there are signs that can guide you on this journey of love and discovery.

When it comes to relationships, there’s a lot more than just the butterflies and giddy excitement we feel in the beginning. It’s about compatibility, shared values, emotional support, and whether you’re building a life together that brings out the best in both of you. 

Below, we’ll dive into some of the key indicators that someone might be “the one” for you.

1. Trust Your Gut (But Don’t Ignore Your Head)

Let’s start with instinct, because it’s often the first thing we notice when we’re around someone new. 

That gut feeling? It’s there for a reason. 

If something feels off, even when things seem perfect on paper, it’s worth paying attention. But just as important is balancing that gut feeling with logic. 

Sure, feelings are powerful and can tell you a lot about a person, but lasting relationships are built on more than just emotions.

When you’re wondering how to know if someone is the one, take a moment to check in with both your heart and your mind. 

Are you excited to spend time with this person, not just in the exciting, romantic moments but also during the quiet, everyday times? 

Do you feel safe, comfortable, and confident being your true self around them? Healthy relationships make you feel secure and valued, even when life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies.

2. Shared Values, Dreams, and Life Goals

It’s often said that “opposites attract,” but when it comes to long-term love, having shared values is incredibly important. Sure, differences can make things interesting and help you grow, but there are certain things you’ll want to align on with your partner. 

Think about the big picture: Do you both want a family? Do you have similar views on career ambitions or lifestyle? What about your approach to finances, personal growth, or even how you view the world?

These are big questions, but they’re essential to answer when thinking about how to know if someone is the one. 

Someone can be perfect in so many ways, but if your future goals are drastically different, it can create tension down the line. It’s not about agreeing on every single thing but having similar visions for the future, which helps you build a strong foundation.

That said, differences in hobbies or interests aren’t deal-breakers. In fact, these can enrich your relationship and make life together more dynamic. 

The key is that you respect and support each other’s passions while staying aligned on the important stuff.

3. They Make You Feel Loved, Respected, and Supported

One of the clearest ways to know if someone is the one is by paying attention to how they make you feel. 

Do they make you feel genuinely loved, respected, and supported? When you’re with them, do you feel like your best, most authentic self? 

A person who truly loves you will bring out the best in you, without making you feel like you have to change who you are to fit into their life.

Emotional safety is also critical. 

Do you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, desires, and even fears with them? Are they willing to listen and respond with care and understanding? Communication is a cornerstone of any successful relationship. 

The right person will create a space where you feel heard and valued, even during tough conversations.

At the same time, ask yourself how you feel when you’re apart. 

Do you still feel secure in the relationship, or are you constantly anxious or second-guessing? When someone is the one, there’s a deep sense of trust and security that remains, even when you’re not physically together.

4. The Little Things Matter More Than You Think

It’s easy to get swept up in grand romantic gestures and over-the-top surprises, but often it’s the small things that reveal the most about a person. 

How do they treat you on a daily basis? Do they remember the little details, like your favorite snack or how you take your coffee? Are they thoughtful in ways that show they’re paying attention and genuinely care about your happiness?

The little things also extend to how they treat others. 

Do they show kindness and respect to people in everyday interactions, from their family to waitstaff at a restaurant? 

How someone treats those around them is a great indicator of their character and how they will likely continue to treat you in the long run.

5. You Handle Conflict Together—And Grow From It

No relationship is without its challenges, and that’s perfectly normal. 

But how you and your partner handle those challenges together says a lot about your compatibility and long-term potential. 

Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable, but when someone is the one, you’ll find that these moments of tension actually strengthen your relationship rather than tear it apart.

When conflicts arise, are you both willing to work through them with patience and understanding? Do you approach each other with empathy and a desire to resolve issues together? Relationships are partnerships, and the ability to navigate difficult times as a team is a key factor in determining if someone is the one.

It’s also important to note that conflicts don’t have to be deal-breakers. 

In fact, working through challenges together can help you grow closer and learn more about each other. A relationship where both partners are committed to growth, even when things are tough, is one that can stand the test of time.

6. Time Will Tell

It’s tempting to want to know right away if someone is the one, but love isn’t always something that can be rushed. 

Time is often the best test of whether a relationship is built to last. As you spend more time together, you’ll face various stages of life, and how you both navigate these transitions will reveal the true strength of your bond.

Patience is key here. Some love stories unfold gradually, and that’s okay. 

Rushing to label someone as “the one” too soon can create pressure. Instead, allow the relationship to develop naturally and give yourself the space to reflect on how it makes you feel over time.

7. You See a Future With Them—and They See One With You

Finally, when someone is the one, you’ll be able to envision a future together. 

This doesn’t mean you need to plan out every detail of your life right away, but it does mean that both of you are on the same page about your relationship’s direction. 

Whether it’s talking about moving in together, building a family, or simply dreaming about future adventures, you’ll notice that your long-term plans start to naturally include each other.

Just as important, they’ll show you through their actions and words that they see a future with you, too. 

If both of you are invested in building a life together, you’re well on your way to knowing if they’re the one.

FAQs

How do you know when someone is the one?

You’ll likely feel a sense of ease and comfort with them. 

They’ll support you, respect your individuality, and share similar values. Over time, you’ll notice that the relationship feels like a partnership built on trust, mutual respect, and genuine care.

How do I know if the person I’m with is the right one?

Pay attention to how you feel when you’re with them. 

Are you happy, comfortable, and excited about the future? Are your values and long-term goals aligned? If so, they could be the right one for you.

How do you know someone isn’t the one?

If you feel like you’re constantly compromising who you are, or if there’s a lack of trust or communication, these are red flags. If you don’t feel supported or valued in the relationship, they might not be the one.

How to tell if someone is single?

It’s always best to ask directly in a respectful manner. 

You could casually bring it up in conversation or check for signs on social media, but direct communication is often the easiest way to find out if someone is single.

Here are some tips for overcoming codependency:

• Build self-esteem: Work on building your self-esteem and self-worth. This will help you recognize your own needs and boundaries.
• Set healthy boundaries: Learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others. This means saying “no” when necessary and prioritizing your own needs.
• Develop healthy communication skills: Improve your communication skills to express your feelings and needs clearly and assertively.
• Seek professional help: Therapy can be a valuable tool for understanding and overcoming codependency. A therapist can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and build stronger relationships.
• Join a support group: Connecting with others who are struggling with codependency can provide support and understanding.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what codependency is, how it manifests in relationships, and provide tips for overcoming codependent patterns. By understanding codependency and taking steps to break free from its grip, you can build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Codependents often exhibit certain behaviors that can be red flags in a relationship. Here are some real-life examples of how codependent people might act:

• Always putting others first: A codependent person might always put their partner’s needs before their own. For example, they might agree to go out with their partner’s friends, even if they’re not in the mood, just to avoid a conflict.
• Rescuing others: They might feel compelled to fix other people’s problems, even if it means sacrificing their own well-being. For example, they might lend money to a friend who’s in financial trouble, even if it means going into debt themselves.
• Controlling behaviors: Codependents may try to manipulate or control their partners or loved ones. For example, they might make threats or guilt trips to get their way.
• Overly needy: They might constantly seek approval and attention from others, to the point where it becomes overwhelming.
• Difficulty setting boundaries: Codependents may struggle to say “no” or set limits. They might feel guilty or afraid of disappointing others.

By understanding these behaviors, you can better recognize codependency in yourself or others and take steps to address it. Remember, breaking free from codependency is a journey, not a destination. 

With patience, persistence, and support, you can build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

What are Codependent Behaviors?

Codependent behaviors can manifest in various ways, including:

• Excessive need for approval: Codependents may have a strong need for validation and approval from others.
• Difficulty setting boundaries: Codependents may struggle to set healthy boundaries and may overstep personal boundaries.
• People-pleasing: Codependents may go to great lengths to please others, even at their own expense.
• Rescuing: Codependents may feel compelled to save others from their problems, often leading to feelings of resentment and burnout.
• Controlling: Codependents may attempt to control their partners or loved ones, often using guilt, manipulation, or threats.
• Fear of abandonment: Codependents may have a strong fear of being alone and may go to great lengths to avoid it.

What is It Like to Be with a Codependent Person?

Being in a relationship with a codependent person can feel like navigating a minefield. It’s NOT easy, especially if you’re independent. 

It can leave you feeling drained, confused, and isolated. Here are some common challenges you might face:

• Constant neediness: Codependents often have a strong need for approval and attention. This can feel overwhelming and suffocating, making you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
• Controlling behavior: Codependents may try to manipulate or control their partners. This can make you feel like you’re losing your independence and autonomy.
• Difficulty setting boundaries: Codependents may struggle to set healthy boundaries, leading to blurred lines between your needs and theirs. This can make it difficult to maintain a healthy balance in the relationship.
• Poor communication: Codependents may have difficulty expressing their feelings or communicating effectively. This can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and a lack of intimacy.
• Resentment and frustration: Dealing with a codependent person can be emotionally draining. You may feel resentful, frustrated, and isolated.

It’s tough. We understand.

But with understanding, patience, and support, it’s possible to navigate these challenges and build healthier relationships.

What Does Codependency Really Look Like?

Picture this:

Sarah and David had been together for years. They were a picture-perfect couple, always smiling and laughing together. But beneath the surface, their relationship was fraught with codependent patterns.

Sarah was constantly seeking approval from David. She would go out of her way to please him, even if it meant sacrificing her own needs. For example, if David wanted to watch a movie she didn’t enjoy, she would agree without hesitation. 

She was afraid of disappointing him and being abandoned.

David, on the other hand, was always trying to rescue Sarah from her problems. He would take on too much responsibility for her happiness, often neglecting his own needs in the process. For instance, if Sarah was feeling down, he would drop everything to be there for her, even if it meant neglecting his own work or hobbies.

Their codependent relationship was a vicious cycle. Sarah’s need for approval fueled David’s desire to rescue her, and David’s rescuing behavior reinforced Sarah’s fear of abandonment. This created a toxic dynamic that was draining and unhealthy for both of them.

Over time, Sarah and David began to realize that their relationship was not healthy. They sought help from a therapist, who helped them identify their codependent patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms. With time and effort, they were able to break free from their codependent behaviors and build a stronger, healthier relationship.

Final Thoughts

We understand. 

Codependency can feel like a heavy weight dragging you down, making it difficult to navigate your relationships. 

It’s a pattern of unhealthy behaviors that can leave you feeling drained, confused, and isolated. 

Remember:

Breaking free from codependency is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, patience, and self-awareness. 

But the rewards are worth it. 

By understanding codependency and taking steps to address it, you can build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

If you suspect you or someone you know may be codependent, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist can provide valuable guidance and support, helping you develop healthy coping mechanisms and break free from the chains of codependency.

Remember, you deserve to have healthy, fulfilling relationships. Don’t let codependency hold you back. 

With the right support, you can create a brighter future for yourself.

Interested in starting therapy? Consider Relational Healing. Get started here.