How to Bring Up Couples Therapy: A Guide to Starting the Conversation

Feeling a little lost in your relationship?

It’s okay, you’re not alone. Many couples go through rough patches, and sometimes, a fresh perspective can help. 

Have you ever considered couples therapy? 

We know it might sound scary, but it’s actually a sign of strength. It shows that you’re committed to your relationship and willing to work on it together. 

In this guide, we’ll walk you through how to bring up the idea of couples therapy to your partner, address any concerns, and get ready for a new chapter in your relationship.

Yup. It can be daunting to initiate a conversation about couples therapy. 

You might fear rejection, judgment, or even a breakup. However, it’s important to remember that couples therapy is a sign of strength, not weakness. It’s a commitment to improving your relationship. 

Here are some tips to help you bring up the topic:

1. Choose the right time and place: Find a time when you both are calm and relaxed. Avoid discussing it when you’re already upset or stressed. This will help ensure a more productive conversation.
2. Start with “I” statements: Instead of blaming your partner, focus on your own feelings and experiences. For example, you could say, “I’ve been feeling really stressed lately and I think it’s affecting our relationship. I’ve been thinking about couples therapy to help us work through this together.” This approach is less accusatory and more likely to encourage open dialogue.
3. Be honest and open: Share your feelings honestly and openly. Explain why you think couples therapy would be beneficial for your relationship. Be specific about the challenges you’re facing and how you hope therapy can help.
4. Listen to your partner’s perspective: It’s important to understand your partner’s feelings and concerns. Give them a chance to express themselves without interruption. Show that you’re willing to listen and consider their viewpoint.
5. Focus on the positive: Emphasize the benefits of couples therapy. Highlight how it can help improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your bond.
6. Offer reassurance: Let your partner know that you’re committed to your relationship and that couples therapy is a way to invest in its future. Reassure them that you’re in this together.

Remember, the most important thing is to approach the conversation with kindness, empathy, and a willingness to work together.

We get it. It’s not easy. But here’s how to bring up couples therapy in the right way:

1. Choose the right time and place: Find a time when you both are calm and relaxed. Avoid discussing it when you’re already upset or stressed.
   
2. Start with “I” statements: Instead of blaming your partner, focus on your own feelings and experiences. For example, you could say, “I’ve been feeling really stressed lately and I think it’s affecting our relationship. I’ve been thinking about couples therapy to help us work through this together.”
3. Be honest and open: Share your feelings honestly and openly. Explain why you think couples therapy would be beneficial for your relationship. Be specific about the challenges you’re facing and how you hope therapy can help.
4. Listen to your partner’s perspective: It’s important to understand your partner’s feelings and concerns. Give them a chance to express themselves without interruption. Show that you’re willing to listen and consider their viewpoint.
5. Focus on the positive: Emphasize the benefits of couples therapy. Highlight how it can help improve communication, resolve conflicts, and strengthen your bond.
6. Offer reassurance: Let your partner know that you’re committed to your relationship and that couples therapy is a way to invest in its future. Reassure them that you’re in this together.

Once you’ve initiated the conversation, it’s important to be open and honest about your feelings. Explain why you think couples therapy would be beneficial. Be specific about the issues you’re facing and how you hope therapy can help address them.

Remember to listen to your partner’s perspective. They may have different feelings or concerns. Try to understand their point of view and work together to find a solution that works for both of you. Here are some additional tips for talking about couples therapy:

• Avoid blaming: Instead of pointing fingers, focus on the problems you’re experiencing as a couple.
• Use “we” statements: This can help create a sense of unity and shared responsibility.
• Be willing to compromise: If you and your partner have different perspectives, be open to finding common ground.
• Stay positive: Even if your partner is hesitant, try to maintain a positive attitude.
• Seek support: If you’re struggling to have this conversation, consider talking to a friend or family member for support.

How to Convince Your Partner to Do Couples Therapy

If your partner is hesitant about couples therapy, it’s important to address their concerns. Here are some tips:

• Acknowledge their fears: Let your partner know that it’s normal to feel hesitant about couples therapy.
• Explain the benefits: Emphasize the positive aspects of therapy, such as improved communication, conflict resolution, and stronger relationships.
• Share personal experiences: If you have friends or family members who have benefited from couples therapy, share their positive experiences.
• Offer reassurance: Reassure your partner that couples therapy is a safe and confidential space where they can feel comfortable expressing themselves.
• Be patient: It may take time for your partner to come around to the idea of couples therapy. Be patient and supportive.

Remember, couples therapy is a commitment to your relationship. It’s a sign that you both are willing to work together to improve your lives. By approaching the conversation with understanding, empathy, and a positive attitude, you can increase the chances of your partner agreeing to couples therapy.

How to Tell Your Husband You Want to Go to Couples Therapy

If you’re married, you might feel particularly anxious about bringing up couples therapy. Remember that your husband is your partner, and he wants the best for your relationship. 

As mentioned above, be honest and open about your feelings, and try to approach the conversation with a positive and hopeful attitude.

Final Thoughts

Bringing up couples therapy can be a difficult conversation, but it’s an important step toward improving your relationship – if you’re at that point.

By following these tips, you can approach the conversation with confidence and increase the chances of a positive outcome – because you CAN achieve a positive outcome.

Also just remember, you’re not alone in this. 

Many couples have benefited from couples therapy and have found it to be a valuable tool for strengthening their relationship. 

Trust us, we know. 

We also know that taking the first step towards couples therapy can be a courageous decision. It shows that you’re committed to your relationship and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. 

So, just remember, you’ve got this. 

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Many couples have found couples therapy to be a valuable tool for strengthening their bond and building a more fulfilling relationship.

Interested in starting couples therapy? Consider Relational Healing. Get started here.